A Moment to Remember, A Moment to Forget
by SaphireMalfoy
Summary: Severus goes to the Dursley's to check up on Harry and get him to talk (highly suggested by Dumbledore of course). Little did he know what talking would do to the two. What will the future bring for the tortured teen? Death as he hopes or can there be hope beyond that in the unforgiving world? HP/SS and possibly HP/DM


A Savior is not Supposed to be Saved!

Disclaimer: Well obviously this doesn't need a disclaimer, since I am soooo obviously not JK Rowling, but the characters are not mine. However if someone wants to give me a chocolate covered Draco, I would accept him :P

Warning: Mentions of abuse, suicidal!Harry, rape and MalexMale relationships! (specifically Severus and Harry later! Possible Harry/Draco as well) If any of these make you squeemish, please don't read on!

5 years of school passed, 2 to go. The thought of anything else Harry tried to keep from his mind as he sat in the room that felt too big, too dark for him to keep his eyes open. The one place that was his safenest in this home was now his torment. He no longer had a safe place to go. Not one place where he could keep his family out of his mind. Years before, he had the cupboard which, while small, was more comforting. Closed in around him, where he could feel as if he were wrapped in a cell. It would be most preferable. Isn't that where killers were supposed to be? Locked up in isolation. Not sent back to live with their families for the summer, expecting a _bright_ future. The only bright fact would be when that bright green light would come towards him and he could take that final rest in the darkness he saw behind his eyelids. He dreamt of that final day often. A dream of death that could not come soon enough. Unfortunately for him, unless he somehow allowed himself to disappoint others on purpose, he would always try to please. Always try… for others.

Harry sighed at the unfortunate truth his life had become. He no longer lived with a sense of peace. He hadn't… ever. For as long as he remembered, he knew of pain, suffering and death. Never his own death though. Harry felt tears come to his eyes as he turned over, a wave of pain across his side becoming too much for him. When had his life become this though? A constant longing for death. It wasn't until last summer, if he remembered correctly.

_Harry worked quietly in the kitchen, scrubbing the floor with a towel, waiting on the food to cook for his aunt, uncle and cousin. They were still asleep, so he had to be careful not to make too much noise. As far as he was concerned, it was some of the best moments of his day. The only expectations were those he put on himself. Not to burn the food and to make sure the place was presentable enough. So long as that was so, he didn't have anyone around watching him, nitpicking his work. It was amazing. _

_"__Boy." Harry cringed, looking up. Had he been too loud? Perhaps he was late! Crap, what time was it. But as he looked at the clock, he knew that was not the case. His uncle stood there in his boxers, an uncommon sight. Usually Vernon was well-dressed before coming downstairs, or at least threw a robe on. The man before him was acting very strangely. He was gazing at Harry with a look that Harry couldn't read. Somewhere between 'curiosity' and 'predatory'. _

_"__Uncle…" Harry began, but the older man shook his head._

_"__Don't say anything boy." He said, demanding silence, not only with his words, but also his gaze. A gaze that told Harry to run, fast. _

_Harry couldn't move. Couldn't think. _

He wouldn't have, in a million years, thought he'd endure more pain at his uncle's hands than he had that day. And in a way, he hadn't. His mind had numbed to the pain, the disgrace, the way his body had been used. Abused. Harry groaned and rolled over. WHY?! Why couldn't he just forget?! Just leave his mind behind. It's not like he had anything to look forward to. The Dursley's was the only place he could go. Nor did anyone have any reason not to send him there. He had basically asked for it when he led Sirius to where he was. No! He would not think of Sirius now. Not now. A shot of pain went through Harry's heart. One he had felt many times since Sirius's death. He just didn't have the strength.

"Boy." A voice stated from Harry's door and Harry felt a shiver, a whimper as he tried to close his mind as the supposed "guardian" walked into his room to do unmentionable things.

Severus glared at Dumbledore, a common face among the two as Dumbledore's eyes glinted. "Don't question me Severus. You know Harry needs somebody to talk to after all that's happened."

"What makes you think that somebody is me?" Severus asked, pure venom in his voice as he crossed his arms. It wasn't like he should have to look after anyone, let alone Dumbledore's golden-boy. Why couldn't he just do that himself?

As if to answer his unasked question Dumbledore tilted his head. "The boy has had much happen to him, much of which I feel is my fault and I am sure he places the blame on me as well. Nobody else has the knowledge of all he has been through. You've been around Voldemort. Not many can say the same. He could use your help… your strength. I am not asking you to take him in. He still needs to be at his Aunt and Uncle's, but he could use a mentor. Someone older he can trust."

"He doesn't feel he can trust me Albus!" Severus scoffed, his eyes wide. "Don't you think he'll hate me for the way I've treated him?! It's not like I didn't mean any of it Albus. And unlike you, he knows that. I don't like your _golden-boy._ Nor will I treat him special just because he is supposed to be our savior. If anything, you're filling his head with nonsense. He likely won't be the one to save us at all. It would be more likely someone from the Ministry kills Voldemort before that boy even has the chance to."

Dumbledore looked downcast at the words of his potion master. "I believe that you have less faith than the rest of us, that is true. However, you are the one of very few I could trust with Harry's sanity. He's already had to deal with Voldemort on multiple occasions that if I could replace him with anyone else I would. He doesn't deserve to have seen the death and destruction that someone like that can cause. I do have faith and trust in him to be our savior because of that, yes. However, the point you are not seeing is that if he does not get the help he needs because of what he has seen, he could become just like the one who created such sadness in him. Death and destruction are not new to him, but if he starts to see the wizarding world as dangerous as one has made him seem, he could become the next dark lord. And why shouldn't he? He's had to live, learning that death and hurting is all life is about. I am just glad that every summer he is able to go to the Muggle world and live in peace."

Severus sighed, seeing a point. Why wouldn't Harry see the Wizarding world as completely evil? Perhaps **_he_** as Harry's most negative experience at the school, could prove to Harry that the thought of such is wrong. And if that's not how Harry is feeling, then at least he can find some new ways to torment the boy and make a good time of it.

"I'll do it." Severus said, rolling his eyes. "I'll go there tomorrow and give Potter the chance to talk… if he wants to."

The next day Severus made his way along a Muggle neighborhood in Muggle clothing. His hair was slicked to one side. He grimaced at himself in the mirror that morning. How muggles could wear such things, he would never know. The leggings… jeans(?) were riding up in a very uncomfortable way. The dark black shirt went all the way up his neck. It was long sleeved, which was perfect for hiding his wand. He grinned, glad he thought ahead.

As he reached the number 4, he noticed the car outside. He decided he would rather wait til they left. He went over to a curb and sat down, pulling out a book of potions. It was blank on the outside, which made it an easy pick no matter what type of neighborhood he was in. The lights in the house across from him were on, so he had no doubt that someone was up and about. He stuck his nose in the book.

Harry kept checking around the corner as he made breakfast. No one was up yet. He suddenly felt a sharp, burning pain on his hand and pulled away from the stove. "Fuckin' ay." He blew on the part of his hand he'd burned and felt tears in his eyes. "Goddamit'. I have more strength than that." Today, however, he didn't. He could barely think. That's why when his uncle came down less than a minute later, he didn't cringe away from the slap he knew was coming. And it came fast and hard. It threw him several feet away.

"Dammit boy! What's wrong with you! Trying to burn my house down?" Vernon spat, looking at the food Harry was now too far from to do anything. The food had started to burn.

"I-I'm sorry Uncle." Harry spoke silently, looking down, knowing it was useless. He had awoken a beast that could only be tamed one way. Vernon grabbed the pot off the stove and threw it at Harry, the burning metal catching his cheek. Harry scrambled to reach up and grab it, to keep it from hitting elsewhere. He caught it just before it fell to the floor. The food had already hit the floor. He would be punished for that later. With his empty hand, he reached up and felt a boil forming along his cheek. It was his own fault. He kept his eyes on the pan in his hand. He imagined throwing it back at his uncle. Knocking some sense into the bastard. He then sighed, knowing that wouldn't do any more than make him angrier.

Petunia was standing at the stairs, looking at him with a venom that he could feel from across the house. He shuddered when he looked up. He knew "Sorry" wouldn't cover the damage he had done. Pissing off his uncle was not only punishment for him, but the entire family. He grimaced and waited to be told what to do. The best case would be telling him to remake the meal he had ruined. Worst case… being sent to his room for the day. Because being sent back there would mean only one thing.

Vernon looked back and saw his wife. "Would you like to go out to eat before I go to work Darling? You and Dudley could go to the mall to look at clothes if you want and I could pick you up after."

Petunia nodded. "I'll go get dressed and wake up our Duddlykins." She said with a smile that would make Harry puke if he had anything in his stomach to puke up. Vernon nodded and looked back at Harry. "Eat up your mess boy. Then go spend the day in the cupboard and think about what you did." _The cupboard!_ Harry would have grinned if he didn't know better. He nodded without looking up. "Yes Uncle."

"And Harry…" The use of his name made him look up from pure shock. "I think you need to clean up your act before you show others that I have treated you any different. Don't look at me anymore. Your lust for me shows through when you do."

LUST! Harry blinked and looked down. No! He couldn't… He would never have looked at his uncle with any look other than disgust. He frowned, but knew better than to say anything. His uncle kept going though. "I promise that I won't tell anyone what we've done, but you had best keep up on your best behavior boy."

Harry could feel himself shaking. He was disgusted and sick to his stomach. He wouldn't eat the food he'd been alloted, despite having not eaten for over a day. He knew he would never stomach it after what he'd just heard. He just nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. As much as he wanted love and attention, he never would have asked that of Vernon. So what made Vernon state as though he had? Harry could feel tears in his eyes. He didn't want to ever lust after anyone if Vernon assumed he had with him. Harry walked over to the sink and dunk the pan in the water. There was steam as the hot pan hit the water. Harry ignored it, knowing his Uncle's eyes were still on him. _Please leave. _His mind begged. He just couldn't handle his uncle being around after his little speech.

He heard footsteps come closer, which made him jump. He felt an arm wrap around his waist. "Don't worry boy, I won't let anyone know you're gay… unless you want them to."

Harry pulled away and looked his Uncle straight in the eyes and said in a growling voice. "Don't you dare touch me! You've been touching me wrong for almost a year! I don't like it and definitely don't lust after you, you fat bastard!" Harry saw his hand moving up to slap him. Harry grabbed the hand and bent the fingers the wrong way. "You won't touch me ever again!" Harry heard snapping in the fingers he was holding, and saw the face of his Uncle getting brighter red, almost purple. Suddenly he let out a sharp wail. Harry took that chance to run to the cupboard that used to be his safety net and would be again. He knew that it locked on the inside and even if it didn't, his Uncle couldn't fit in there if he tried. He ran to it and locked it behind him, curling up into a corner.

For a while he heard his Uncle slamming on the door, banging with what Harry assumed was his other hand. But then it stopped. Harry closed his eyes, allowing darkness as he fell asleep in the peace of his little cupboard.

"Fucking bastard child!" A gruff voice said coming from the house. Snape looked up and noticed that the man was holding his hand in a white pack. Likely an ice-pack by the looks of it. "I swear to the Gods' if that child isn't the devil's spawn himself…" His voice disappeared into the back of the car as his wife got into the front, as the driver. His son got in the other side in the front.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Potter needs help. Potter needs a mentor. Idiot that Dumbledore is, he probably didn't even realize that Potter was torturing his muggle relatives. If anything, Potter was gonna become a dark lord to Muggles instead. It wasn't as if he was any better that that.

Snape scowled and made his way towards the house as the car took off, taking a still yelling fat man away. He reached to take the knob and found it unlocked. He rolled his eyes. So the golden-boy was protected from.. what? Shaking his head Snape made his way in and looked around. In the kitchen was a bit of a mess. It looked like someone had dropped food and left it there.

"Potter?" He called after closing the door and then mentally slapped himself. Why would Potter answer him of all people? He had to be here though, from what the grown man had said. He sighed and pulled out his wand. Closing his eyes he concentrated on an image of the boy. Sparks flew forward and to the left. He walked that way and noticed a doorway under the stairs. "Potter?" He said again, stupidly as he reached and tried to open the door, only to find it locked.

{Harry could barely make out the sounds and shapes of his dream. All he knew was that he felt a calming peace surrounding him. Unlike his previous dreams, this one seemed to calm his core. He could feel the presence of all he had lost. Sirius was standing at his side, smiling at him. He grinned at him, so very happy to see familiarity. His heart fluttered and in a moment the peace was lost as a veil appeared behind the elder man and a hand pushed him through. Harry looked down, realizing it was his own. "NO!" Harry's dream self crumbled. Crumbled as the dream around him turned red. Bright red as the anger inside of him threatened to come from within himself. He screamed, allowing his anger, his frustrations to surface.}

Severus covered his ears as a scream pierced his heart. He had never heard such pain from anyone before. No matter how many times he'd been put under cruciatus, he still could not fathom the pain from the scream. He cast a spell on the door to open it wide. There was a light on the ceiling. He quickly turned it on and found himself looking at the source of agony. The boy he had tormented all these years… scratches and bruises along his arms and a particularly nasty burn across his face. Severus' eyes were wide and he knelt down. He needed to wake to boy. "Potter!"

The boy stopped screaming instantly and shivered, curling up. "I-I'm sorry Uncle." He said quietly. He curled even tighter. Severus frowned. "Potter, it's not your uncle."

Harry looked up and then quickly looked away. "Go away!"

"Potter, what the hell happened to you?" The potion master reached out to place a calming hand on his shoulder, from which the boy recoiled without thought.

"Fuck off Snape. Go back to the snake pit you belong in."

It took a lot of energy for Snape not to slap potter's head for his insolence. _Fuck. Am I feeling sorry for the little snot?_ He shook off the feeling and sighed. "I-I'm here to help you Potter. In order to do that, I need to know what the fuck happened."

Harry, still wrapping his arms around himself, shivered. "None of your business. Go back and tell Dumbledore what they all tell him. I'm fine. I'm safe here."

"They all…" Snape frowned. "Who else has seen you like this?"

"No one!" Harry glared, looking up at Snape with seething anger. "No one actually cares! They look at the house. At the perfect family. And they leave with great news for anyone who cares to listen."

"I…" Snape was speechless. No matter what he said, the boy was obviously set in his views. And for once, Snape thought he had a right to be. "Potter, will you please look at me?"

Harry looked up, keeping his eyes downcast, but even though he couldn't see the eyes, he could tell that Harry was still angry. "Potter, tell me the truth. What is going on here?"

"What's going on here is that I have been living like a fucking slave. I have lived like a dog in a kennel in this cupboard until I was 12. I lived in a bedroom that feels like a cell ever since. I get told that I am nothing more than "the boy" and if I ever tried to fight that, then I would probably be kicked out and no longer under the protection I supposedly need." Severus listened, a frown forming at hearing him describe his living situation. "I've been beaten, bruised, starved and…" Harry's eyes went wide as if he just realized something and he gasped, then closed his mouth. "I-I'm fine." He said as soon as he opened it again.

Snape rose a brow. "You're obviously not. I won't push you, but among the things you've said, I know you're telling the truth. And it's obviously not in anyone's best interest to keep you here."

"W-what do you mean? The protection…"

"Only works if you feel protected here Potter. If you have been feeling like this place is unsafe, then the protection no longer applies. Your mother would never have wanted you trapped, starved, and hurt. Had Dumbledore known how you felt, you would have been in a new home."

Harry frowned at the realization… He could have been free of this long ago. He could have spared himself from… everything. Harry closed his eyes and saw the darkness. Oh, if only. He sighed. "Well, don't I feel like an idiot."

It took all Snape's energy not to make a condescending remark to this. He just shrugged it off and looked down. "I can't leave you here Potter. Besides, I was sent here to get you to talk to someone. If you want…" Snape cringed as the words made their way to his mouth. "I'd like you to move in with me."

Harry looked up at him in surprise. "Really?!"

Snape couldn't help it as he rolled his eyes. "Well, I obviously can't leave you here Potter."

Harry shrunk down. He'd probably been hurt by the sarcasm in the voice. Not that Snape could help it. He'd put up with stupid students all his life. And Potter had been one of them. Well, perhaps not stupid. It's not like Snape gave him a chance to be good at potions ever. In fact, he'd decided on day 1 that Harry-the-famous-bastard Potter wasn't going to become good at anything else under his watch. Perhaps that had been a downfall of his, but he wasn't going to feel bad for that now. He needed to make the boy believe he wanted him to move in. "Besides, I usually don't have anyone around during the summer. It might be a nice change. I live at Hogwarts…" He said, knowing that may make the boy agree easier.

Harry rose an eye, surprised. "I-Why do you live at Hogwarts?"

Snape frowned, not really wanting to give too much away to this boy. But since he'd been so honest with him, he decided it couldn't hurt. "Dumbledore decided it was the safest place for me when I wasn't spying on Voldemort." He cringed, very slightly and hoped that the boy hadn't seen it. It seemed he hadn't. Harry just nodded and looked down. "I guess I could move back to Hogwarts… but… my stuff." Harry frowned at the realization that he didn't know where any of his magical items were. Had his uncle thrown them out? It wouldn't surprise him.

"Where is it?" Snape asked, and looked around. "In your room?"

"Hedwig is." Harry said and Snape could see the frown the other wore. "I-I don't know where my other stuff is." Snape grinned and held up his wand. "Accio Potter's wand." At that, the other boy's wand rushed to meet his hand, but not before making noise on the way. It had broken out of something. A cupboard perhaps? He made his way over to the kitchen and noticed broken glass and frowned. Somewhere outside it seems. He walked over to the back door and made his way down some steps into the back yard where he saw a small wand-shaped hole in the ground. The idiot man had buried Harry's things?

Snape frowned slightly and looked around. There was too much around for him to use magic to get it out. He'd have to do it the old fashioned way. He walked back into the house. "Potter, where's a shovel?"

Harry got up from the spot he hadn't moved from since Snape had arrived and made his way over to where Snape was, keeping an eye on the Potion Master very closely as he did so and walked around him to the shed on the side of the house. He carried the shovel over and looked up expectantly. Awaiting instruction. Snape shook his head. "Bring it to me Potter." He said, in his usual annoyed tone. Harry quickly walked over and handed Snape the shovel before taking a step back.

Snape walked over to the small thin part in the dirt and stuck the shovel down. About that time he heard a car in the driveway. "Fuck!" Potter squealed and ran back to the cupboard under the stairs. Snape blinked quickly before he knew what had happened. He heard the loud mouthed bastard in the home.

"What were you doing out of the cupboard boy? And why did you leave the door…" Vernon noticed the man in the backyard and growled. "One of them, eh?" He growled and slammed the door. Snape raised an eye. _One of them? A wizard?_ Snape frowned and made his way to the door, wand at his side. The door was locked as he reached it, but locks weren't a deterrent to Snape. He heard the click of the door under the spell and opened the door. "Excuse me!" Snape said, looking up at the Muggle, trying to break into the door under the stairs. "Stay away from him, Dursley!"

He held up his wand and heard a scream from his side. "Shut up, Muggle Bitch!" He stared at her with pure hatred. "You couldn't even take care of your Nephew. Why should I be kind to you?" She started to shiver and ran behind her fat husband. At least she had some sense.

Vernon shrunk back slightly away from the door. "D-don't threaten me in my house!" He growled.

"Don't threaten the boy then." Snape said with as much menace as he could manage. Snape cringed suddenly, realizing Potter had said he'd been called "the boy" his whole childhood. He'd have to watch himself if he wanted Potter's trust. "Potter should have had love in this house, protection and caring. Instead he had to come to a place he can't stand."

"You don't know shit!" Vernon yelled. "The way that boy treats us is horrible. Always threatening us with his magic. The way he never does what he's told. The way he looks at me with lust…" Vernon grinned with a sly grin and Snape's stomach did a small lurch. _Please no. _He thought to himself.

He raised his wand and knocked the three out, erasing their memory of when he was here. He lurched over, holding himself steady for a moment, trying not to hurl. He closed his eyes and straightened himself. He went over to the cupboard under the stairs. "Potter…"

He could hear crying from within. "Potter… we need to talk. Not now. But I need you to come with me. We're grabbing your stuff and then leaving. You won't ever have to come back. I promise."

Harry whimpered and opened the door. "I-It's not true." The tears running down his face told Snape more than he wanted to know. He felt murderous and knew he needed to leave the house now. "I know." Snape said. "We should go."

Harry nodded but would not look up as the potion master led him out of the house to go unbury his stuff before leaving the house forever and not looking back.

_How could he say that shit in front of Snape._Harry felt a heaviness in his chest as he watched the greasy man unbury his stuff. He felt respect for him, believing him. He just hoped that the "talk" Snape wanted, didn't involve the comment, but he knew better. He shivered and looked down.

"Ready to go Potter?" Snape asked, snapping Harry from his mind. Harry nodded and stood up and was about to ask how they were going to get to Hogwarts when Snape pulled out a small flask. Inside was a thimble. A portkey? Harry frowned, wondering how close they would have to be to touch such a small object. His back clenched at the thought, sending a sharp pain through his shoulder blades. He didn't like being close to people. Even Ron and Hermione, who didn't seem to notice the 5 foot distance between them when they were walking together. For the most part, the two were more interested in each other. He knew that sooner or later, the attraction between them would become more. He shivered as he walked over to where Snape stood. He motioned for Harry to put his hand next to his, which he did so that the thimble would fall in both of their hands at the same time.

There was a sickening feeling in Harry's stomach as he was lurched out of the Dursley's lawn and he landed in a dark room. Severus lifted a lighter-looking thing, which put on the lights in the room. "Welcome to my humble abode." Severus said and walked over to a couch in the center of the room. There were two staircases behind them and beside them doors. Harry frowned. Where was he in the castle?

As if to answer his unasked question Snape looked up. "We are in one of the towers near the Slytherin corridors. It used to be one of the founder's. I guess they thought it was the most homey." Snape shrugged as if he wouldn't know. "Feel free to look around Potter. The second bedroom is on the right stairwell. There's a bathroom connected to it as well, should you want to relax. And it does lock." Snape mentioned, making Harry blush slightly. No matter what Snape's reason for mentioning that bit of info, it made him feel much better, knowing he could lock himself away if he wanted.

"Need anything Potter?" Snape asked, watching his face with curiosity. Harry shook his head and ran up to the second bedroom, leaving all his stuff but his wand on the floor in the living area. He could grab it later.

Snape sighed and rested his back on the couch. He knew he'd have to go back to the house and get the owl, but that could wait until he calmed down. Besides, he wasn't sure, no matter how safe Potter seemed, it would be a good idea to leave Potter alone right now. What if he wanted to talk? Or just needed him here to yell at. Snape knew how that was. And he would be there, no matter what Potter needed. He sighed slightly and kept picturing the fat fuck's grin. If that meant what he thought, Potter was going to need more than just someone to talk to. _Perhaps…_ Snape thought._I could let him hurt me if it would make him feel better. Not harming to a point of danger, but I know how much I wish I'd had an outlet when I was younger. At least Potter is away from that now. However Dumbledore will need to know sooner or later._ That was not a conversation Snape was looking forward to at all.

A/N: If you read all of this, whoo! That means I at least kept you interested this far! I hope you'll read on! Please feel free to leave a comment. Positives and negatives allowed. If I never get any negatives, how can I improve? Would people prefer this story to end as Harry/Snape or Harry/Draco? I have ideas going either way :) I hope you enjoy it


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